LIVING WITH MYSELF (2020)
Director - Projection Designer - Photographer
Hamline University - St. Paul, MN
"It doesn't have to be right, it just needs to be a choice"
This physical theater piece was my expression of how isolation played a role in the rabid decline of mental health during the COVID-19 pandemic. In this filmed version of the work, you see four performers physicalizing the forces that accompany common mental illnesses, such as anxiety, depression, and obsessive compulsive disorder. They rotate around four plexiglass barriers that represent possible barriers someone might be facing (e.g. Looking in the mirror, inability to reach a loved one, or the loss of connection with others).
Devising Emotions
“Living with Myself” required a thoughtful approach to collaboration. We were still at the center of navigating health and safety protocols, as well as tackling a relatable subject that forces vulnerability.
I focused on how the performers could express emotions through physical presentation. Our time in the studio was spent brainstorming what emotions we feel during isolation, then taking those words and putting them on the body. Ex. If someone is feeling frustrated, explore how that exists within the body. Tense shoulders, hot ears, blurry vision ect.
Then, we shrunk our focus to how people physically cope with emotions, body tics and habits. This led to our long list of examples to guide our structure. What better way for an audience to recognize feelings without words than performing the habits many use to cope with them?
Uninhibited Practice
This project demanded us artists to approach the material with an empathetic and non-judgmental headspace. I found that college students needed an extra push to rehearse without stubborn reservations. Somewhere in adolescence, young adults inherit a fear of judgement from others. This made it difficult for the artists to make quick decisions, in order to escape embarrassment or ridicule. I adopted the phrase "it doesn't have to be right, it just needs to be a choice." Reminding the artists that there is no such thing as a "correct" choice in devising, just choices that might work better than others.
